Stormy Night Stew
by Sir Elliot
Summary: What goes on in the kitchen between Haru and Yuki late at night? Beef soup, Black Haru, a punishment EVERY GIRL would like to have, and some misunderstandings a little too funny. Beef soup with a hint of lemon...go ahead and review.
1. How'd he get here?

My friend and I kinda wrote this over the phone, it was really funky at first cause she likes boys and boy stuff, we toned it down a little for you weenies out there.

Me: So Haru, are u, well a cowboy, teehee, I crack myself up,

Haru: Hmm, I don't know, a _mystery_

Friend: Umm, yeah, well, u seem 2 know a lot about Yuki, why is that?

Haru: Also, an unsolved _mystery._ I guess faeries really do exist.

Both: WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM...wait it's a mystery isn't it?

Haru: nods 

Yuki woke up do to a loud moaning from Kyo who appeared to be having a rough night, everyone was. Tohru was out and Shigure had managed to make something not worthy of being called food for dinner. It looked like a meteorite, had landed on their plates. They never ate it.

Yuki, disheveled and tired, struggled down stairs, hair in a tangled mess, a "rats nest" if you will. Dragging his longed sleeved pajamas, he slowly ambled toward the kitchen. He grabbed some left over rice from the refrigerator and some bowl with mysterious contents and headed to the table, still half asleep.

"Oh, I'm so-GAHHHHHHHH! HAR-"His mouth was cupped by Haru's hand, "It's alright, Yuki, my love."

"Huff, Haru, what are you doing here? It's like 2:45 AM!"

"I know. I was making my way over to the supermarket and the highway disappeared, a mystery, I ended up here at your table."

"Huh. Are you, umm, hungry? Cause I am. When's the last time you ate?"

"Two and a half days ago." Haru mumbled in the emotionless way he did.

"Right, what are you here for?" He asked as he put something into the microwave.


	2. Dire Consequences

Haru breathed slowly and began with a hand on the back of his head, "Well, it all started when I was taking my semi annual journey and I got a call from the main house saying I needed to come home and tell you that Ayame was in Italy taking a vacation with Mine."

"I would like some Shougayaki if..."

"Yes, I know Haru."

Yuki nodded but didn't really take anything in seeing as it was 2:50, he sighed as he waited for the lunch to come out. Haru gave a gentle, childish tug on Yuki's shirt, "Its good for you."

"I can see your tired too."

Suddenly they heard a short "beep, beep, beeeep."

"Ah, the food must be ready." Yuki said as he sighed, pushing himself up.

He put the mysterious bowls on two paper plates and walked over to the table, setting them down..

They sipped quietly, when, "What is this?" The cow asked calmly,

Yuki looked up with the spoon half way to his mouth, "Oh, its beef...um...soup." reanalyzing his mistake, the soup spilled back into the bowl awkwardly.

_Oh, I wasn't thinking clearly, I pulled something that stupid cat would do._

Haru's head was down, "Oh, Hatsuharu, I am so sorry, I forgot...I wasn't think-"

"DAMN RIGHT YA WEREN'T THINKING PRINCESS!"

Hatsuharu ran up to him and pinned him to the wall, "What is it stupid rat? You want me to be a cannibalistic? Is that it, well prepare to die!"

"Haru, I apologized."

"You apologized did ya? Well, eat this sicko!"

Suddenly, Black Haru grabbed Yuki's collar with one hand and his cheek with the other, bringing him closer to his chest.

Yuki thought he was going to land one is his stomach at first, but closed his eyes only to open them and find Haru locking his soft lips with him in a long 2 minutes and 32 second passionate French kiss. Yuki struggled but Haru held tight really going for it. Haru grabbed Yuki's butt. Yuki freaked out, pratically screaming in Haru's mouth. Finally, Haru dropped him to the floor, Yuki began gasping.

"W-Why..cough, choke, did you do that!" Yuki sputtered, trying to position himself up against the wall. "I took advantage of white Haru saying 'I love you', crap, what? Sad your first French wasn't with Tohru?" Haru mocked.

"Well for one," Yuki managed with one eye closed, "You're a GUY!" He was fast as he tried to slug him in the stomach, but Haru did the same causing them both to collapse on the floor. Only, Haru crumpled over Yuki spitting blood to the side as the rat lie on the floor.

Just then Kyo ran in the kitchen, "ya damn rat, quit making so much..." Kyo witnessed an out of breath Haru arms and knees over the rat, apparently not trying to crush him, suffocating Yuki, unkempt and exhausted. Kyo paused, apparently trying to choose his words carefully, nothing like "Hey, can I join?", but more of Kyo eyeing them suspiciously and stiffly responding "I really don't want to know, Ok, just- just leave me out of it!" and walked out like a pole was up his back. Haru helped Yuki up as they both leaned against the wall, bushed.

"…"

"Uh...what happened?"

"Just have some rice."


End file.
